Growing Pains

The past few months I have experienced a lot of growing pains.

I know, you are thinking…isn’t she too old to be going through growing pains?

No, I don’t wake up in the middle of the night suffering from unimaginable leg pains…but I do wake up with a pain so great I feel there is no remedy.

My “growing pains” come from watching my children grow up. It is a bitter sweet pain. I find joy watching my boys grow and flourish, test their independence and sometimes my patience.

At the same time, I can’t help but think my babies are growing up and won’t need me much longer. I won’t always be that person they want to watch them try out a new trick on the playground.

On a recent trip to Disney World I experienced this “growing pain” for the first time when Noah and Kipper chose to spend their time hanging with friends instead of me. They proceeded to spend their day sitting around the pool, telling your mama so fat jokes, which I took personally.

I also experienced this “growing pain” watching my youngest, Kipper, start Kindergarten, when he told me, “Mom, I can do this by myself.” I am sure you can son but this isn’t about you…it’s about me.

I’ve come to realize, there comes a time in parenthood when the line smears into childhood and you must confront the pain and know it isn’t going to go away but you will find ways to manage it.

You manage it by knowing you have taught them well, to grow without fear or pain.

Noah had his first real sleep over recently; needless to say the “growing pains” would visit me that night. The pain of not waking up with a seven year old, which had slipped into our bed in the middle of the night and was sharing my pillow.

But, Noah managed his “growing pains” by saying a prayer I am told that God would keep him safe while away from home. I, too, whispered that same prayer.

I know there are more “growing pains” in store and I will manage those, too.

Even if it means rushing to the bathroom after Noah yells, “I’m done” just to feel needed and momentarily wipe away the “growing pains.”