The past few months I have experienced a lot of growing
pains.
I know, you are thinking…isn’t she too old to be going
through growing pains?
No, I don’t wake up in the middle of the night suffering
from unimaginable leg pains…but I do wake up with a pain so great I feel there
is no remedy.
My “growing pains” come from watching my children grow up.
It is a bitter sweet pain. I find joy watching my boys grow and flourish, test
their independence and sometimes my patience.
At the same time, I can’t help but think my babies are
growing up and won’t need me much longer. I won’t always be that person they
want to watch them try out a new trick on the playground.
On a recent trip to Disney World I experienced this “growing
pain” for the first time when Noah and Kipper chose to spend their time hanging with
friends instead of me. They proceeded to spend their day sitting around the
pool, telling your mama so fat jokes, which I took personally.
I also experienced this “growing pain” watching my youngest,
Kipper, start Kindergarten, when he told me, “Mom, I can do this by myself.” I
am sure you can son but this isn’t about you…it’s about me.
I’ve come to realize, there comes a time in parenthood when
the line smears into childhood and you must confront the pain and know it isn’t
going to go away but you will find ways to manage it.
You manage it by knowing you have taught them well, to grow
without fear or pain.
Noah had his first real sleep over recently; needless to say
the “growing pains” would visit me that night. The pain of not waking up with a
seven year old, which had slipped into our bed in the middle of the night and
was sharing my pillow.
But, Noah managed his “growing pains” by saying a prayer I
am told that God would keep him safe while away from home. I, too, whispered
that same prayer.
I know there are more “growing pains” in store and I will
manage those, too.
Even if it means rushing to the bathroom after Noah yells, “I’m
done” just to feel needed and momentarily wipe away the “growing pains.”