Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Mr. Masseuse

So much has changed since I last wrote. The seasons, my job, where I live, my weight (not for the better), Brent and I celebrated 13 years of marriage and my kids have celebrated birthdays.

Noah is a big 3rd grader, who likes a girl. Word on the street, she has nice handwriting and a 6.1 reading level.

Kipper is in 1st grade and has been missing his front teeth for a months and has developed a love for country music. Seriously, where did this kid come from?

While so much has changed, so much is the same.  And by that I mean my kids' ability to test my parental skills in public still exist and is going strong.

Most Sundays, when we aren't traveling the Southeast playing soccer, I will try to visit my grandmother. Usually, it's me, my mom, my aunts, my cousins and my uncle, sitting around the table, drinking coffee and eating whatever sweet, fattening thing one of us has brought over.

Noah and Kipper usually tag along, and spend time with their cousins. But one Sunday, Noah saw this as an opportunity to make a buck, or two or seven!

Here's how. I've taught Noah how to massage shoulders. And, I don't mean any old massage – he is actually pretty good. This particular Sunday, Noah decides to show off his masseuse skills by massaging everyone's shoulders for three minutes for a dollar. (Did I mention he's cheap)

Once he was finished, Noah had earned seven dollars. In the land of a 9 year old, or at least my 9 year old, that is BIG money!

So, after we left my grandmother's house we head to Books-A-Million. I had promised the boys a trip and a book…hindsight being 20 / 20 I should have planned to pick one up for myself, no doubt a self-help book probably titled...'Perfecting a poker face for parents.'

So, after we roamed the store a jillion times, Noah has finally made a decision and picked out his books. Kipper chose his within the first five minutes of getting there, typical Kipper fashion.

Anyhow, Kipper spies TWO books to his ONE nestled
in the crook of Noah's arm and says, “Wait, why did he get two books?”

I tell him, “Well, Noah massaged shoulders at Little Maw Maw's and earned extra money to pay for another book.”

Kipper stomps his foot at me as I am walking towards the checkout and says…(or SCREAMS which is how I remember it), “You didn't tell me I could rub people's FEET!”